Low Sexual Desire & Solutions for Low Libido

What Is Low Sexual Desire?
People normally differ in the degree of sexual appetite they have. There is no single standard of sexual desire, and desire differs not only from person to person but also in the same person over the life span.One of the most common sexual complaints among couples is a disparity in sexual desire. Sexual desire can be low for an almost infinite variety of reasons, many of them psychological and interpersonal. But that doesn't necessarily make it a disorder.
It becomes a diagnosable condition only when it diminishes the quality of one's life and creates distress, or a disparity arises in the sex drive between partners and it becomes a matter of unresolved contention in the relationship. Hypoactive sexual desire can both result from relationship problems and cause them.

Moreover, hypoactive desire is almost invariably a relative matter. Partners who use as a standard of comparison the degree of sexual desire experienced early in a relationship may label as a problem the drop in sexual desire and activity that often accompanies longer-term partnerships, when the needs of everyday living tend to prevail. Further, a person who experiences low sexual desire that is problematic relative to one partner may not experience any disparity in desire with a different partner. Hypoactive sexual desire may arise only in response to one's current partner. And what is designated as one partner's low level of desire may more accurately reflect an overactive sex drive in the other partner.

Sexual desire and responsiveness normally differ between men and women, and assumptions of sexual equivalency may falsely suggest the existence of hypoactive desire disorder. Men are more readily biologically aroused than women, and, for them, desire is tied tightly to physiologic arousal. Among women, sexual desire is more psychological and situational, related more to context than it is among men—to how they feel about their bodies as well as to the quality of relationship with their partner. Moreover, women often do not experience desire until after they are genitally aroused, and arousal may require an extended period of foreplay.

The waning of sexual desire is sometimes considered an inevitability in a long-term relationship, but it is unclear whether that is truly the case, or whether it is a function of age or familiarity. Low sexual desire can often be treated. Increasingly, experts are optimistic that the sexual spark can stay alive throughout the life span.

Solutions for Low Libido


Men. High sex drive. Panting sexual animals. We know what they want. And we know when they want it: right now.

Even doctors tend to see men as "sexual automatons," hardwired always to want sex, says pioneering sex researcher Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of sexual medicine at San Diego’s Alvarado Hospital and editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine. "But that is not the case at all," Goldstein tells WebMD Magazine. "Many, many men -- about one in five --have such low sexual desire they’d rather do almost anything else than have sex."One in five men doesn't want sex? How can that be true? And why haven't we heard about it? Actually, many women have -- the ones hearing the phrase "Not tonight, dear." Goldstein says most people think that is a rare occurrence. "But in fact, almost 30% of women say they have more interest in sex than their partner has."

The causes of low sex drive

So what's behind low sexual desire? Aging plays a role, though many older men have a robust interest in sex, Goldstein points out. Like most other human traits, the sex drive varies. Most men are in the normal range; some are extraordinarily driven toward addiction-like sexual behavior. At the other end of the scale are men with very low sexual interest. These are men who suffer from hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).

"There are always men on both sides of the normal curve," Goldstein says. "And a certain percentage -- perhaps up to a quarter -- will be considered to have HSDD for a whole host of reasons." These include:

Psychological issues. Stress and anxiety from the strain of daily life, relationship or family problems, depression, and mental disorders are among the many factors that can affect sexual desire.

Medical problems. Diseases such as diabetes; conditions such as obesity, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol; and HIV drugs, some hair-loss remedies, and other medications can negatively affect sexual desire.

Hormonal causes. "Testosterone is the hormone of desire, arguably for women as well as for men,” Goldstein says. Low testosterone levels usually mean low sexual desire. Levels dip as men age; other causes include chronic disease, medications, and other drug use. Other hormones can play a role, too, such as low levels of thyroid hormone or, rarely, high levels of prolactin, a hormone produced in a gland at the base of the brain.

Low dopamine levels. Sexual desire obviously involves the brain -- and the brain's chemical messaging system is intimately linked to sexual desire. One of those messengers is dopamine. Doctors have noted that Parkinson's disease patients treated with dopamine-stimulating drugs had increased sexual desire. Goldstein says these drugs help some men with HSDD.

Each cause of low sexual desire has its own treatment. When the root cause is psychological, sex therapy can offer men specific techniques and strategies for regaining their enjoyment of sex. "It is not psychotherapy; it is psychology counseling focused on sexual issues," Goldstein explains.